I am Thankful to God for my family, shelter, food, my boyfriend, his family, and my friends. 🙂 I’m thankful for my health and that I have lost wright and my skin is clearing up. I’m thankful I’m finally doing massage therapy!
I feel lonely and sad at night. I don’t know why this happens only at night. I wish I knew. It doesn’t happen often. I have a good life and I’m slowly getting clientele thanks to Amazon.local.com. I try to lose myself watching movies and listening to music and it helps but then the movie ends or the sing stops and I’m sad again. It’s a different kind of sadness that I didn’t have before. A numb sadness. I didn’t have it early in my life. I felt everything. Life feels monotonous. I am thankful for the blessings I have but I still feel this way.
I am feeling confident and strong or at least almost. I got my hair and eyebrows waxed today and I saw a calico cat that was loveable. I never see cats. Sometime I want to volunteer at an animal shelter. There’s so many things I want to do but I’m not good managing time.
I just started going to therapy and I have an amazing therapist named Mary. 🙂 I talk about my low self esteem because I do not feel attractive and intelligent. Recently she gave me a mantra (or affirmation) to say to myself everyday. “I feel beautiful, in charge of my life and I have a lot to offer people. I am loveable and worthy of love.” I haven’t said this yet to myself everyday but I will starting tonight! ! I have lost five lbs I went from 150 to 145. My body is getting toned. Also I just started using Mary Kay products for acne and one cream for aging (lines and wrinkes) as well as acne. I still look young but it’s good to use it! I have been working out three times a week! I do kettle bells, cardio and zumba!!
My therapist gave me a quote to read and to keep. “There is so much about FATE that I cannot control, but other things do full under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body, and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life whether I will see them as curse or oppurtunities. I can choose my words and the tone or voice in such I speak to others. And most of all. I can choose my thoughts.”
I have been working and doing massage therapy and I love it!! I have to network a lot and so I go to events or meet people at the fitness studio where I work! Everyone I met has been very kind. Especially the owner she’s an amazing Christian woman. 🙂 I still need to discipline myself when it comes to doing things I need to do. And I shall!!
Sorry for not blogging often. I’m just trying to figure out how to schedule things in my life. God Bless and you’re all special and shimmer!