July 31st A Great Busy Day! :D

Today, I went to my therapist and talked about moving. She was shocked that I’m moving in general and asked questions. She said it is up to me if I want to move or not, but I am established here with work, school, family, my bf, and friends. I told her how my parents and I have been fighting because of the stress of the move but we always apologize to each other. I still feel conflicted if I should move or not because I am scared I won’t find a job in Gloucester. However, yesterday I saw my rehabilitation counselor and she gave me paperwork to fill out to send to the Department of Mental Health to get a case manager because she thinks I am qualified because I have Dyscalculia, depression, and situational anxiety. I have to send the paperwork to Worcester, but before I do that I am going to make photocopies to keep because I will need to send the same paperwork to Tewksbury. I guess I need to send it to both so the case manager in my local area can connect me to the one in Tewksbury? I have to call Eve, (rehab counselor) to find out again. I am happy I have been getting more shifts at the hospital and I paid off my $110.06 cell phone bill because I used my data on vacation and at my friends house. I don’t feel like explaining it’s just embarrassing I forgot that I wasn’t connected to wifi.

Tomorrow I’m bringing my boyfriend to his dentist appointment to get his teeth pulled. 😦 He will be out to sleep so I’m driving him. Also I’m bringing my friend to her sister’s house.

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Sigh…Busy and Overwhelmed

I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging. I’m in the process of moving and a lot has been going on. I have a huge cell phone bill because I didn’t use wifi on vacation (which I thought I was). Also I forgot I needed my friend’s password to use her wifi. :/ This week I having finally been getting shifts, except today my shift my canceled. 😦 I am thankful that I did enough shifts so I can probably afford my cell phone bill. I wasn’t going to move to Gloucester but I decided to because there isn’t many job opportunities in my area. I hate my town and I’m just sick of it because it’s depressing, boring, and people are negative. I will miss my boyfriend (my love), family and friends but I’ll contact as much as possible. My family only calls when they want something most of the time though.

I will go to college in Gloucester and look for work. I was hoping I voted make money online but most of the work at home on the Internet are scams. :/ I plan on seeing a life and job coach and I found a life coach that has low prices per sessions. 😀 I found a place where they help people with disabilities find work in or near Boston. I think it’s in Boston. I love that there’s many ways to get transported to places, either by bus, trolley, or cab. I plan on really buckling down and becoming independent. It’ll take time but I know I can do it!! My most difficult and weakest skills are cooking, organizing, and budgeting.

I hope I do not lose any friends when I move. There are a few I’m unsure about. Mostly one friend who has serious issues. All MI cares about is getting high and having sexual intercourse. I kept telling her over and over she’s better than that and she needs help, but she doesn’t listen. It’s ridiculous. Other than that person my friends are mostly well adjusted. I am hoping to join social groups and volunteer. I really want to be part of the community and make networking connections. I like helping people and I hope I make new friends as well. My main goal is to find work, and find myself by figuring out what my career path is.

I wish I could have a cat. 😦 I’m sad my mom is allergic. If I do volunteer at a animal shelter I’ll have to change my clothes and wash them right away. Maybe I could go to a laundry mat? Hmm…we shall see!

The type of groups I want to join are for holistic health and I would be relearning reiki which is energy work, and learning about herbs probably. Also I want to try yoga and get a mentor in massage and maybe spa therapy. I know an owner of a massage and wellness center and she’s amazing! She’s very kind and spiritual. 😀 The other group I want to join is creative writing. I haven’t done any creative writing because I still feel blocked and I have been preoccupied with moving.

Of course I will eat healthy and exercise! I really hope I come to a point where I develop high self-esteem and find myself. By finding myself I mean finding who I am without people telling me who I am, what to do, and becoming a strong, powerful, tenacious, independent woman! Roarz! And Rawrz!

Canobie Lake Amusement Park!!

Yesterday I went to Canobie Lake Amusement Park with my love and his family!! We had fun! I went on a lot of rides! I went on the Yankee cannonball rollercoaster, psycho drome (which is a dome), timber tail water ride, Boston tea party (water ride), log flume. Also Turkish twist, teacups, scrambler (it has another name but I forgot). Bear roller coaster which was the scariest!!! :O And maybe others but those are most of the ones I went on. We had pepperoni pizza and the food and drinks are very pricey! The park is in Salem, New Hampshire. I got a sunburn on my face. :/ I was the only adult who went on rides with the kids. After we went to McDonald’s. Yum yum!! I had my usual cheese burger only ketchup, fries, and a vanilla shake. We left around 6:30 or a little later. Along the way we saw a guy who survived a tractor trailer car crash his car was crushed between them and they pulled him out!! It was definitely a miracle. 🙂

Today I’m sleeping because I have third shift.

I had a Great Day with Emily!!

Before I saw Emily I went to my school to get paperwork and I said goodbye one of the advisors and also my tutor. 😦 She showed me videos on YouTube and books to help me with math. She believes in me I just need to believe in myself.

Emily and I had a relaxing day! First I surprised her and gave her unicorn slippers that I had gotten from Newbury Comics in Northampton. We went to McDonald’s. Then we watched a movie called, Dear Dumb Diary that was adorable! Lastly we watched Freaky Friday. I am really happy Emily is my friend. I love her folks and Bella her cute doggy as well!! When I went home I watched Pretty Little Liars and I love that show so much!! I love the mystery and the drama they don’t know who A is and we’ll the rest is hard to explain. I recommend it! The first season and I think the second season is on Netflix. Only the old episodes. I didn’t get a shift. :/ While I watch TV I usually go on Facebook and text people. I didn’t nap today. Lol. Now I’m listening to the thunder and I watched the lightning outside. I didn’t watch long just for a moment. I love seeing the lightning. It is scary hearing the thunder though. I pray for people on the road.

Researching

Today I called in for a shift. I haven’t been working much lately. Yesterday thankfully I got over 7.5 hours! I am just been skimming and printing information about North Shore Community College. They have alot there. Also my other choice is Gordon College which is a Christian school. My parents cleaned an apartment out that my neighbor moved out of awhile ago. We ordered food from Pizza Chef. My mom is getting a small grilled chicken salad and my dad and I are sharing a large pepperoni, hamburger pizza. The day went by fast today! Tomorrow I’m excited seeing my friend Emily and we will walk around Old Sturbridge Village!! Whoo! !

A New Move, A New Life Poem (What’s yet to come in my Mind)

I see boxed piled up in my mind,
I see a movie van in my driveway,
I see suitcases, tote bags, and garbage bags,
I see no mail in our mail box,
I see nothing left in the apartment,
I see sad faces trying to smile,
I see sad eyes in my reflection,
I see tears in my hearts and tears I see and don’t see,
I hear “Please stay there must be a way”
I hear the car doors shutting I hear the lock in the car,
I see my folks giving the key back,
I feel still and quiet in the car as I look around my surroundings,
I celebrate and see friends one last time promises of communication I hope they don’t forget,
Our lives are all different so it’s hard to keep up,
I won’t miss this town but I’ll miss the people I called my friends and want to be friends forever,
I will dearly miss my love I hold in my heart and never will let go,
I’m scared of losing everyone,
I don’t want to be a forgotten memory or something not worthy keeping in their lives,
I love all of them,
I’ll miss my little cousin’s and my cousins who take care of them,
I’ll miss my aunt and uncles,
I’ll miss the familiarity of it all and getting to places easily,
I’ll miss the different libraries I went to,
I’ll miss Blackstone Valley especially Red Robin,
I’ll miss Westville Dam which is beautiful the most beautiful part of Southbridge,
I’ll miss rekindled friendships,
New friends I reunited with and now time will be lost,
Thank Goodness for the annoying, social work that reveals who people really are (even though they edit),
I welcome the ocean breeze, the smell of yucky fish, narrow streets and horrible parking,
I welcome the nice people of Gloucester,
I welcome the boats and ships I see,
I welcome the beautiful beaches, flower scents, and the delicious cafe and ice cream shops,
I welcome means I am open. I am official introducing you Gloucester into my life.ill never forget the love of my family, my true love, and my friends.

Goodbye Good and Bad memories of Southbridge, Massachusetts
Hello Gloucester, MA!

You will be my new home.

Moving Soon! :O Eek!

Today I went through my paperwork and I threw some away and kept the important ones. I also went to my school and dropped my fall classes. I hugged my disability coordinator who has been very helpful to me. dropped my summer class yesterday. My mom told my gym that we were moving and I couldn’t afford the remaining balance so I only paid $36.00 for the cancellation fee! Yay! I went for a long walk with my mom and then as usual we went to Dunking Donuts to get drinks and rest. She usually gets an ice coffee and I get soda. Then when I went home I took a nap for three hours. I wish I could remember my dream but I can’t. 😦 I emailed my advisor and my Psychology teacher because they were amazing and I hope I can say goodbye to them in person. I have ten bookshelves full of books but luckily I don’t have to get rid of them. I really don’t have as much stuff as I used to in the past. I won’t buy anymore books if I do it’ll be through my kindle. I can’t wait to see my boyfriend this weekend and Emily Tuesday! I will miss everyone alot.